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Sixty-three percent of college graduates believe that the American Dream is dead, leading some to consider moving out of the country, according to a survey conducted by a discount coupon company.
Wait, wait, wait--over 60% of these college kids voted for Obama.
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Kids relate to rock stars.
Let them all move to Texas and Oklahoma. See below
Nov. 20, 2012 - 6:43 PM EST
Dear Red States: We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics, and we've decided we're leaving.
We in the Blue States intend to form our own country.
In case you aren't aware, that includes New York, California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Cory Booker, Tim Kaine and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Princeton. You get Ol' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepre-neurs. You get Texas.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulphur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech, The University of California, and MIT.
With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson, and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Thirty-eight percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale; 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws; 44% say that evolution is only a theory;, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11; and 61% of you crazy *******s believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.
Sincerely,
Citizens of the Enlightened States of America
hasta la vista. Oh, that's right...once you guys leave we all can have English as our official language again. :)
IF YOU HAVE A DREAM OF BEING A DRUG DEALER = LAKE WORTH IS YOUR PLACE TO GET AWAY WITH IT
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