Tuesday, December 2, 2014

"The city's full of crap," says Lake Worth lobbyist

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TIVOLI, DOWNLOW,
GODDAMIT, & NOSAY, P.A.
========================
666 Lobbyist Parkway, Suite 000
West Bum Beach, Florida
Telephone:  561-555-screwwu

December 2, 2014

Via Electronic Mail
Mr. Joe Low Baller
Town Mgr, June Beach

Subject:  Lake Worth City Hall Crap Collecting Facility

Dear Joe:

As you may know, the cities of Lake Worth, Palmetto Bug Springs, Brownacres, Atlandisthis, Belly Glade, Lowland Beach, Jupiter Outlet Center and Puddle Ridge are supporting the location of a crap collecting facility at Lake Worth City Hall.

As you are probably aware, the county is up to its ass in crap. And nowhere is this problem more serious than in Lake Worth. We are swimming in the stuff.

Recently we had a very positive meeting with representatives of the facility and we would appreciate your sending me a formal letter of support for the Lake Worth Crap Collection Facility.  If you agree, enclosed is a sample resolution that you can utilize for your letter. The problem is really reaching crisis proportions.  Several of our commissioners have had close calls with the huge amount of crap here at City Hall. As a matter of fact, one of our commissioners, Andy Imaloser, almost drowned when he slipped and fell into the crap.

As Lake Worth City Hall is already the crap epicenter, we thought it best to put the Crap Collecting Facility here and contain it all in one place.

If you agree, it would be much appreciated if any letter of support could be provided to me by Friday, December 12.  In addition, it would be appreciated if your governing body would adopt a resolution supporting the Crap Collecting Facility at Lake Worth City Hall.

Sincerely,

Gin Tivoli

Attachment
cc:  Nike Bornstone

3 comments:

  1. hahaha. Gin Tivoli? hahaha.

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  2. Yep folks,extremely funny. What's NOT so funny (downright SICK ) is that this was based off of a REAL letter sent by city Attorney Glen Torcivia to Juno Beach pushing the idea of placing a baseball stadium in JPP. That's right,Our Commission (minus Mcvoy)is still rooting for the destruction of John Prince Park. And they are using Torcivia as their "bag" boy , behind the scenes facilitator.We really do deserve a better class of people on the dais.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And more truthful in the legal department.

    Sincerely,

    Dewey, Screwem, and Howe

    ReplyDelete