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A huge crowd
is forming in front of the Gulfstream Hotel where poor Scud Maxwealth is
hanging from a half ripped down banner. To the crowds huge relief, Maxwealth is
able to work his way onto a ledge, but he is still stuck high up on the side of
the building.
Windy-Runt: We’ve got to do something!
Rolaround Silver: We have a big problem. We don’t have a ladder that can reach that high.
Les Lackman: What?! Practically the entire budget of Lake Worthless goes to your department!
Rolaround
Silver: What budget? Nearly all of Lake Worthless' remaining funds have
disappeared and nobody can account for them. It all started back there around 2020. All of the city's departments have
been drastically cut.
Suddenly the
crowd parts as a huge ladder truck with the words “Andershine Aerodynamics” on
the side makes its way forward. Neighborhood activist Marley Linseed is sitting
on top directing the crew with her megaphone.
Marley
Linseed: EVERYBODY STAND BACK! WE HAVE THIS BRAND NEW EQUIPMENT THANKS TO A
VERY, EXTREMELY GENEROUS GRANT THAT I APPLIED FOR THROUGH THE LYNNLEY
ANDERSHINE NEIGHBORHOOD IMPROVEMENT FOUNDATION!
Scud
Maxwealth is lowered to the ground and the crowd begins to disperse.
Windy-Runt:
Scud, thank goodness you’re okay! And thank goodness for Lynnley Andershine!
It’s a miracle!
Hermit
Robertson comes speeding up in Glug Riceballs segway taxi.
Hermit
Robertson: This must be a day for miracles. I just got the news- Mayor Pim
Tralala is alive!
Les Lackman:
What? How?
Hermit
Robertson: Tralala was thrown clear of the stadium and knocked unconscious by
the explosion. In the chaos following the blast, Tralala wandered off. She
didn’t know who she was. Apparently she was picked up by a truck driver and has
spent the last twenty-five years working on an animal farm in Alabama.
Windy-Runt:
But how in the world did she get her memory back?
Hermit
Robertson: A wild sow kicked her in the head and her memory just suddenly came
back. She’s on her way back to town as we speak.
A huge white
helicopter lands in the road in front of the Gulfstream Hotel. Lynnley
Andershine, the richest woman in the world, steps out to address the crowd.
Les Lackman:
She looks like an angel!
Windy-Runt:
With the sun behind that gorgeous hair of hers, it almost looks like she has a
halo!
Lynnley Andershine: I have decided to open a
free wellness and healing mental health facility to help the many troubled
people of Lake Worthless. Bark Eastmens has asked to be our first patient. In addition,
I have agreed to buy the old Lake Worthless Herald and rename it the Lake Worth Chronicles. It is time for a new beginning.
Willy
Waterson, (internationally known hair model): Thank God Bark is finally getting
some help.
Someone from the crowd yells, "Yes, he never was quite right...but now...he’s gone completely batty.
Les Lackman: This has turned out to be quite a day. Where
to next, Windy-Runt?
Windy-Runt:
I don’t know. You decide.
As the sun
begins to set, Les Lackman and Windy–Runt wander aimlessly back towards the
docks. A low-flying Pelican, startled by Andershine’s helicopter, drops something on Les
Lackman’s head.
The End.
Or is it?
I get to be a hero on my own blog...who would have thought? :) Thanks Guest comedy spoofer. It was all innoculously funny and not to be taken seriously by any fictitious or non-fictitious character living or dead.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I hope this is NOT the end of the lake Worthless Chronicles. I have really enjoyed reading each day's adventures. Thanks, Lynn.P.S. we need some Segway taxis around here !
ReplyDeletenot funny , boring, childish, needed some profanity by katie and some tears from wapoles.
ReplyDeleteYou're just pissed that you didn't get mentioned in the Chronicles.
ReplyDeleteRah Rah, more!
ReplyDeletehahahaha
ReplyDeleteThe little darlings of personal attacks are crying foul over a spoof. Oh dear.